Dr. Seuss inspired relic hunt

From the land of the Bluenose.....my learned colleges informed me of a building that was used to educate rugratis maximus (Latin for rugrats) in my area so I set forth to excavate the site forthwith.

Packed up my gear and headed solo to the elementary school that was vacant of the two species of nearlyerectus .....hommies and homiettes that are indigenous to this particular building and accompanying playing field Mondays through Friday.

Through my research I learned that these rugratis maximus after 20 season changes are sent here to gain worldly knowledge of such things as watching for purple dinosaurs named Barney, running amok in the hallways of the great building of learning, dodging spheres in the playing area that are throw at you, skipping rope and other skills that make survival possible.

With great precision I performed the drunken sailor grid on the flat survice of the playing field unearthing what looked to be round flat pieces of metal with pictures of a maple leaf on one side and an effigy of some long forgotten monarch on the other. These were made of copper while others found seemed to be of a white unknown metal depicting a sailing vessel.

Not having my companions Pavlov and Freud with me I had little knowledge of what areas these beings traversed so I took to the woods behind the structure immediately uncovering this artifact!

It appeared to be a peaganistic medallion of one of the tribes. Another hypotheses is was that it was an emblem that one used to gain passage to some spiritual gatherings.

Not long afterwords this item was exhumed near a tree.

Ah yes the wheel. This was exciting as I concluded that this was a fairly intelligent early species. Further credence was evident with my next discovery.

It was easy to see the progression of the male rugratis maximus hommies as this type of wheeled transportation was uncovered in Western Canada in the "Redneck " domains albeit of a much larger size. My extrapolations of this find made me theorize that at one time their had been mass migration to the western area in search of means of supporting their broods.

These finds led me to believe that there was a hierarchy in place but not of the same scope as Maslows. Symbols of status or symbols of different sub species. Perplexing.

All previous discoveries however paled in comparison to this

which shows a highly advanced civilization as it is the heart of a device called a plasma multiphase thread converter. I'm sure the scientific world will be shocked at this artifact.

Some much more to explore and so little time as my real calling called. I shall return and finish this monumental endeavour.........in about a hundred years!