Idiot of the Year 2006...LMAO

The Idiot Report........

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medi cal student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control center.

Today, this woman cal led in very upset because she caught her little daughter

eating ants.

I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be

no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She cal med down and at

the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter

some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right

away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal

a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out

of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast

Guard helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon

that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run

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Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch

and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began

to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might cal l the police

before he reached the teller's window.

So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo

Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells

Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that

he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not

accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit

slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip

or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at

Bank of America .

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it

anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2006

A mo torist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured

his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the

mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent

the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained

another picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........ but you still get a sign

Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all

of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch

that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.

He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused

and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because

she didn't believe him.

At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and

gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and

she put the Scotch in the bag.

The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly cal led the police and gave the name and address of

the robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody mo ve!" When his partner mo ved,

the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some

booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window

The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor

store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here's your sign

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor cal l the lo cal

township administrative office to request the re mo val of the Deer Crossing

sign on our road.

The reason:

"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing any mo re."

>From Kingman , KS .

______________________________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a lo cal Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the

person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was

sorry, but they only had iceberg.

He was a Chef?

Yep...From Kansas City !

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee

asked,!

"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

_______________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

___________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING :

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the

company due to" downsizing."

Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this

mo re often."

Not another word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself

and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would

not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

____________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an auto mo bile dealership to pick up our

car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service

department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers

side door As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the

door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced

to the technician, "its open!"

His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton , Mississippi !

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